Albert Einstein is the prototype of the gods of science. Hair that TPKoC only wishes he could attain. Intelligence and the ability to apply it to reality that all should envy.
He is Mahasamatman – the Lord of Light. One prays for the next Mahasamatman – that will unify our broken physics with a beautiful and simply explains Quantum and classical physics.
With the understanding of science Einstein brought humanity it has enabled us to take one more step on the cliff’s of the universe.
Gods have nicknames – and so do the Top Gear U.K. gods!
Jeremy is the God of Being Cross!
Richard is the God of Love! (Yes, a guy can be the God Of Love). He’s certified based on letters discussed on Top Gear and TPKoC’s wife’s certification!
James is the God of Moldy Books and the God of Bores!
Ye know that the choosing of your gods is an important decision. I looked at all the ones that are out there and found them lacking. Where are the gods of the future?
So, TPKoC is in search of gods – and naming them. Only a few of them will be dead gods. Gods are best when they are living people.
For educating the masses – and being the #1 factual show on Earth – and inspiring people’s interest in cars – such as TPKoC and finally, for being the Three stooges of Car -. Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond are the Car Gods – 3 who are one (no, not the father, son and holy ghost).
As proof of their eligibility as gods I quote Richard Hammond “I am a driving god!” Clearly, he must be a god as who else would say such a thing.
We hope to honor our Car Gods.
Jeremy, James and Richard are the three who are 1 – they can possibly save us from mediocrity and becoming zombies. Well, ok, if they make us laugh and do stupid things in cars, that’s enough, too.
Oh, it probably doesn’t hurt TPKoC’s wife and many women (and some men) find Richard Hammond adorable.
As self-appointed Pirate King of Cars and having established the Kings are higher than gods we need to get about the business of god-making.
The Mythbusters have done their best to bring science to the masses. A small amount of science is with giant explosions is better than no science at all and who has a budget to rigorous science when each experiment causes mass destruction!
Remember kids, don’t try this at home.
I, The Pirate King of Cars (TPKoC for short) set forth the establishment of the gods of the pirates.
Much like humanity, I don’t have a clear reason why I needed to create gods other that it seemed like a good idea at the time.
These gods are contemporary people (for the most part) whom have contributed to humanity in some unique fashion. Their treasures are buried often in books and video than in the dirt in the ground, me hearties and far more valuable as well. These are people that we should emulate and become god-like. The precedent for aspiring to be god-like is from the Mormon religion – as detailed here – except while we are living corporeal forms.
On whose authority does The Pirate King of Cars (TPKoC) create gods? Well, the historical precedent is there – in good King Henry the VIII among others. If a person happens to be king they have the right to control religion, doctrine interpretation and the gods themselves. It is done today wherever you see religious leaders make determinations on what their god tells the followers to do. Indeed, science fiction authors have become the authors of religions as Scientology.
Now, people are weak and sometimes do bad things, but that doesn’t cancel out the good things. However, just like the gods of all the religious texts we are going to choose to emphasize the good things this new pantheon of gods and ignore or bemoan the poor behaviors.
Moreover, should a god create a commandment that The Pirate King of Cars objects to, well, it be safely ignored and relegated to the deeps. In fact, to all the pantheon of gods, pirates in general are going to pick an’ choose the best things for the gods and tell ’em piss off about any objectionable bits.
In this section The Pirate King of Cars (TPKoC) and his crew will be detailing the reasons why these people will be our gods.
Should ye pirates visiting have recommendations for gods, TPKoc will consider your submissions, but no guarantees! Arg, Mateys, and have ye a good day.